Sometimes I wonder how I came to be where I am today, or even how my decisions led up to this point in my life. Ever since I was a little girl I was told to dream big, and I did. My imagination was something no one could fully comprehend or understand. I always knew that I didn't want to be like everyone else, and that my hearts desire was to be a part of something big. Little did I realize that would mean
leaving behind my family and friends, and everything I had ever known. Like I said I'm not exactly sure how I made the decision to be a full time missionary. I guess it all started when my plans for attending a four year Christian college fell through, and I was stuck either working for a year, or attending an unaccredited two year Bible college near my home. I had been warned that this particular Bible College was known for pressuring people to go into full-time mission work, not just any mission work, but "tribal" mission work. My attitude from the first day of attending was one of rebelliousness, not because I wasn't interested in doing missions, but because I didn't want anyone telling me what to do with my life. My thoughts however quickly changed when a guest speaker during chapel said this, "You've been bought with a price. You are no longer your own, but God's. It's about living His dream not yours." Never before had I heard such truth. My selfishness made me squirm in my seat, as I started to feel more and more uncomfortable. Have I really been living for myself this entire time? That fact was so sickening to me. It was at that moment I realized I had truly been living my whole life focusing on MY dreams, instead of HIS dreams. He had "bought me with a price", and although that truth was difficult to swallow, the savor of it's truth was sweeter than anything I had ever before tasted. In these past two years of studying the Word of God and learning about God's heart for the world, I've realized that my life truly isn't my own, but the Almighty, Omniscient, Omnipresent, and Omnipotent Creator, God's.  Whether that means working at a fast food restaurant for the rest of my life in my own home town, or ministering to a remote tribe in Papua New Guinea, it's still about living with His plan in mind. I wasn't exactly wrong when I said I wanted to be a part of something big. I just didn't realize that it would be as vast and enormous as living out the dream of the Creator of the Universe.